How to Bond with Your Cat

Our feline friends can be great at hiding their affection, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about us. Research in the United States shows that cats forge deep emotional relationships with their caregivers, just like dogs and children do.

Cat on the lap being stroked

Although they can appear indifferent (and sometimes downright weirded out) in our presence, our little tigers really want to get close to us. If you’re bringing a new cat home for the first time, it’s important to give them every opportunity to love and trust you.

By learning how to bond with your cat, you’ll ensure they get a safe, positive experience right from the start and lay the foundations for an amazing relationship. In this post, we’ll give you tips and advice to build that special bond and make your new cat feel as comfortable as possible.

Understanding Their Body Language

tabby cat sits in a box

If you want to bond with your new cat, make sure you understand their body language. Cats are often very vocal and will meow when they’re stressed or hungry. However, the way they move their heads and bodies may speak louder than their meows.

  • Happy Cats: Tail upright, ears relaxed, forward-facing, and half-open eyes.
  • Affectionate Cats: Rubbing their scent on you as a way of “claiming” you.
  • Stressed Cats: Arched back, flattened ears, wide eyes, or frequent ear rotation.

A cat showing you their belly or butt is a sign of trust. However, stroking their belly may result in a bite or scratch as it’s a sensitive area.

How to Properly Stroke Your Cat

Right from the start, aim to pet your cat in ways they find safe and reassuring. Some cats enjoy attention indiscriminately, but others prefer specific spots:

  • Start Slowly: Let your cat come to you. Hold out your hand and allow them to initiate contact.
  • Focus on the Face: Cats enjoy being petted at the base of their ears, cheeks, or under their chin.
  • Expand Gradually: If they are comfortable, move to their back or sides. Avoid touching their paws, tail, or belly.

Use long, gentle strokes rather than quick, jabby motions. Begin with one finger for a softer touch.

Helping with Grooming

Cat on the lap being brushed

Grooming isn’t just about looks—it removes dirt, spreads oils, and reduces hairballs. While most healthy cats groom themselves, a little help (especially for long-haired cats) can strengthen your bond.

  • Use a special comb for cats.
  • Let your cat sniff the brush before starting.
  • Begin with their head and use gentle, long strokes down their body. Avoid pulling at clumps or mats.
  • Stop if your cat shows signs of discomfort or stress.

Schedule Playtime

black cat hides

Playtime is a great way to burn off your cat’s energy and create a positive connection. Use interactive toys like wands, laser lights, or catnip-filled balls to engage their natural instincts.

  • Move toys slowly to mimic prey movements.
  • Schedule regular play sessions to keep them active.

Always respect their boundaries. If your cat backs away or wriggles free, let them go.

Reward Them with Healthy Treats

Cat looks out of a box

Handheld treats are an excellent way to build trust and affection. Opt for healthy options that make up no more than 10% of their daily calorie intake. Treats should be high in protein and low in fat and carbohydrates.

Examples include:

  • Lick n’ Lap: A creamy treat packed with Omega-3 acids.
  • Purrsticks: High-meat-content treat sticks ideal for bonding.